I'm the type of person that usually doesn't ask for help because I grew up with a controlling grandfather who you "owed" if you asked for anything. So when I ask for help its with humble, sincere, heart wrenching fear that I do so. For me to ask for help is admitting defeat. Most of my friends know this about me.
So for those people who call themselves my "friend" that are too busy to help, you broke my heart. I am, however, very lucky and blessed to have such close friends that will drop everything, rearrange schedules, drive from out of town, take off work to go to drs with me just to help when I need it. People I rarely talk to or see as well, coming to help because they truly care.
The lip service of "if you need anything" is with some simply lip service. To a certain degree I've helped all of my friends at one time or the other, whether it was buying them something to eat cause they were broke, holding them while their souls were being crushed or jumping on a plane to be with a friend whose grandmother just died. But now in my true time of need - crickets..... Now I know I've had my moments of not being a good friend but never at a time like I'm going thru.
Just because you don't think it's important to help build a deck or help me get my windows clean or my carpet shampooed doesn't mean it's not extremely important to me.
Why are these things important? Because when I'm too sick to go anywhere from chemo & radiation but need fresh air, I want to be able to sit out on the simple deck and not worry about bugs and ants biting me, or tripping over dirt. I want when I'm too sick to leave the house that I can still lay there and look out the window and see the sky or watch birds or the rain. I want when I'm so sick that I end up on the floor to exhausted to move that it's clean.
But you're too busy. Thanks.
